How Do You Handle Negative Thoughts or Feelings When They Arise?

I was asked, “How do you handle negative things?”

Why be negative when you can be positive?

Negative thoughts and feelings are an inevitable part of life. Whether they come from external stress, a challenging situation, or our own inner critic, everyone deals with them at some point. But the key to maintaining emotional balance isn’t about avoiding these feelings altogether—it’s about learning how to handle them in a healthy, constructive way.

When negative thoughts or feelings creep in, I’ve found that acknowledging them, working through them, and finding ways to shift my perspective is the most effective approach. Let’s dive into how I handle these moments and turn them into opportunities for growth.

Acknowledge What You’re Feeling

The first step in handling negative thoughts or emotions is to recognize them for what they are. It might sound simple, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of either ignoring how you feel or letting those thoughts spiral out of control. Instead of pushing them away or pretending they don’t exist, I take a moment to pause and ask myself:

What exactly am I feeling right now?
Why do I think I’m feeling this way?

By naming the emotion—whether it’s frustration, sadness, anxiety, or anger—it becomes less overwhelming. Labeling it gives me some distance from the feeling and helps me see it as something I can address rather than something that’s controlling me.

Example in Practice

Let’s say I’m feeling anxious about a work deadline. Instead of letting that anxiety build up, I’ll acknowledge it: “Okay, I’m feeling anxious because I’m worried I won’t finish this project on time.” From there, I can focus on finding a solution instead of being stuck in the emotion.

Take a Step Back and Breathe

When negative emotions start to rise, one of the best things you can do is pause and breathe. It’s amazing how something as simple as a few deep breaths can calm your mind and body.

Here’s what I do:

Stop and close my eyes.
Take a deep breath in through my nose for a count of four.
Hold it for a count of four.
Exhale slowly through my mouth for a count of six.

I repeat this process a few times until I feel myself starting to relax. This practice helps me regain control over my thoughts and feelings, so I’m not as reactive. It’s a simple, quick way to create space between myself and whatever negativity I’m experiencing.

Reframe the Thought

Lake George dock

One of the most effective tools I’ve learned for handling negative thoughts is reframing. Often, our minds exaggerate problems or focus on the worst-case scenario. Reframing helps me challenge those thoughts and see the situation in a more balanced light.

For example, if I catch myself thinking, “I’m never going to figure this out,” I’ll reframe it to something like, “This is hard, but I’ve handled challenges before, and I’ll figure this one out too.”

Reframing doesn’t mean ignoring the difficulty of the situation—it just helps me approach it with more self-compassion and optimism.

Take Action

Once I’ve acknowledged the feeling, calmed myself, and reframed my thoughts, the next step is to take action. Sometimes negative feelings arise because there’s something we need to address, like a conflict, an overwhelming task, or unmet needs. Taking small, proactive steps to address the root of the issue can make a big difference.

Here’s how I approach it:

Break it down. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I break the problem into smaller, manageable steps.
Focus on what I can control. Instead of worrying about what’s outside of my control, I direct my energy toward actions I can take.
Celebrate progress. Even small wins—like crossing an item off my to-do list or resolving a minor issue—can help me feel more empowered and less stuck in negativity.

Practice Self-Compassion

Negative thoughts can often come with a hefty dose of self-criticism. If I’m not careful, I can fall into a spiral of beating myself up over my mistakes, insecurities, or perceived shortcomings. That’s where self-compassion comes in.

Whenever I catch myself being overly critical, I try to treat myself the way I would a close friend. I remind myself that it’s okay to feel this way, that I’m human, and that I’m doing my best. Sometimes I’ll even say something kind to myself, like, “This is tough, but you’ll get through it. You’ve done hard things before.”

It might feel a little awkward at first, but self-compassion has been a game-changer for me. It helps me move through difficult emotions without adding unnecessary guilt or shame to the mix.

Find a Healthy Outlet

Another important part of handling negative feelings is finding a way to release them. Bottling them up usually makes things worse, so I turn to healthy outlets like:

Journaling: Writing down how I’m feeling helps me process my emotions and gain clarity. Sometimes just putting my thoughts on paper is enough to lighten the load.
Exercise: Moving my body—whether it’s a quick walk, a yoga session, or a gym workout—releases tension and boosts my mood.
Talking to Someone: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, talking about what I’m feeling helps me feel less alone and often gives me a fresh perspective.

Closing Thoughts

A pic from a recent trip to Lake George

Negative thoughts and feelings are a normal part of life, but they don’t have to define us or dictate how we navigate the world. By acknowledging what I’m feeling, reframing my thoughts, and taking proactive steps to address the issue, I’ve learned to handle negativity in a way that’s both healthy and empowering.

No one is immune to difficult emotions, but how we respond to them makes all the difference. The next time you find yourself facing negativity, try taking a deep breath, showing yourself some compassion, and tackling it one small step at a time. You might just find that those tough moments can lead to greater resilience, self-awareness, and even personal growth.