September caused people to struggle and to leave social media.
Okay, so what do I do if I leave Facebook, and I focus on where I am? If I decide I want my community to be better, what will I do? How will I do it?
How to change your community?
I suspect that each of us wants to see change, but may be frightened about the response of others. We may be fearful and embarrassed.
Do I have what it takes to make a difference? Who do I approach? Where do I do this? Why am I doing this? How will I do this?
How Do I Do This?
Here are a few of my thoughts.
I am in line at the grocery store. Someone is on crutches. Another is counting their money. What can I do? I will offer my place in line. I will ask if the person has what they need to check out. It takes me mere minutes.
Empathy in Community
Acts of kindness in your community
Life is often changed incrementally, with small steps. Not usually with big jumps.
We use the word “empathy,” but many struggle with it. It is the practice of understanding where others come from. And sometimes they are down in the dumps. Going through tough times. If we recognize that the negativity they are exhibiting comes from stress or fear, or they feel invalidated and unheard, we can begin to bring about change to the table. When we can hear what another is going through without judgment, we open doors of change.
Importance of empathy in community
What if we openly encourage? I am not a natural encourager. Perhaps no one is. I need to take a moment before I speak. Find something to point out encouragingly to someone. We need to spend more time paying compliments to others. Who needs encouragement? Everyone!!
Building community through kindness
And why are we so reluctant to celebrate another’s wins? “Yay for you!” Years ago, I wrote an article about seeing others win and being happy about it. It was called “When The River Rises, All The Boats Float.” And being positive isn’t predicated on the problems at hand, but overcoming them despite the circumstances. Lifting others even when it is a tough time.
Thank You!
Have we learned to say, “Thank you”? Do we talk about what is going well, or do we move to the lowest place? What did someone not do right, or fail at? Who cares?!?!? Let’s highlight what is going well and encourage people to keep going.
Be consistent in encouragement and watch the world change.
How can we bring people together?
Let’s create safe spaces! I regularly invite people to coffee with me at Panera’s. I lead a church gathering and give people an hour of coffee time before my message and then 11/2 hours following to connect.
Community improvement ideas
And just being someone that others can talk to is worth all the money in the world. (You don’t have to fix it. Listen.)
Can you imagine the shift in the tone of a whole community when people begin to feel safe? Let’s start to develop safe spaces for people and change the world.
One of my pet peeves is people who only come to the table with the problem. Anybody can call “balls and strikes,” but that is not the point. It is the people who show up with solutions. So, let’s begin to focus on solutions and not just the problems.
When bad things happen, let’s begin to ask questions to get us over the hump.
Tech Solutions-Two people standing at window
What can we do about it? Nothing or “I don’t know” are not helpful comments! Can we make this better? How can we make this better? When we ask questions like this, we shift the energy from the place of complaining to collaborating.
Let’s look for solutions and get others involved in solution-making.
Let’s make sure that what we do unites and doesn’t divide.
Get involved in positive initiatives. Let’s join or start projects that bring people together. This can include clean-up days, food drives, art events, or neighborhood gatherings, but is not limited to them. Things like food drives for the food insecure are popular because people are hurting. Our actions can and always will speak louder than words. In our church fellowship, we encourage people to participate with the homeless, our community kitchen, and recovery organizations. Life changes when people gather.
How to build a better community
And finally…
Do you know what the biggest deal is for a better community?
Taking care of yourself!
I fully understand how hard it is to be positive in a negative environment. For instance, my brother passed last week. Being positive has taken a lot.
You must make sure that you are recharging in the midst of a draining time, whether your recharge comes through nature, hobbies, journaling, or time with those who lift you up. If you are not taking care of yourself, you are creating a negative environment.
Are we ready to change the world and make a difference where we live? I hope so.
